ten rules - keep it simple stupid...
Here they are - learn them off by heart - print this page out and carry it around with you for the first 10 days...
My metric diet Rules ....................................
- Tell everyone you meet that you're dieting - really bore the shit out of them!
- MEN - For an "average" fat bastard no more than 2,000 calories /day - if you can do 1,750 / day you'll lose weight quicker.
WOMEN - For an "average" fat bastardess no more than 1,750 calories /day - if you can do 1,500 / day you'll lose weight quicker.
(Note: if you're not really that fat and just want to lose a bit of weight you shouldn't be here. These calorie amounts will probably be too many for you - most diets are based around "fast weight loss" and therefore will be 1,000-1,250 / day) - All weight loss to be measured in Kgs - not lbs... just trust me on this one!
- Don't get weighed every day - stay focussed on the process not the results! Get weighed every 10% (that's every 10 days stupid!)
- Take Vitamins (.esp ginseng) - they do fuck all good - but you'll feel really virtuous...
- No eating between meals except fruit or veggies and NO SKIPPING MEALS - EVER!!
- No winging about being on a diet - embrace it be positive!
- No more than 2 units/alcohol a day - you'll just get pissed and eat stuff! This diet plan encourages binge drinking - save the units up - but remember to make allowances in your daily calorie counting
- You're allowed up to 5% slippage for "special occassions" - they have to be birthdays, weddings or funerals to count - remember it's only 100 days - not the rest of your life! You must do the equivalent number of days at the end of the 100 days. i.e. I had 3 days "off" - so I ended up doing 103 days...
- Wear different clothes... see clothing
